Thoughts In A Wandering Mind

                  My actions, thoughts, dealings, discussions, emotions and everything related to me are an open book and fully transparent. Everyone is entitled to a public life - that which is captured by the public eye and a private life - behind the four closed walls. A general person balances these two by living half time public and half time private. A celebrity who complains of privacy lives 70% of time public and 30% private. Few noble souls goes beyond this and achieve 90% public living. If there is anyone who is living on 100% public glare all the time, it is me. I have been living as such since the last decade or more. According to my own definition, public living is that kind of life which is always under spotlight, which is spotless or without any blemish, which is morally correct, which is generally accepted, which is inspiring to be more, which is filled with good deeds, which is unidimensional and which is worth living. This...

                It has been some time since my last post has come out. Though there is no obligation that I should write frequently, I like to post every now and then. Call it my laziness, I am not able to do so for some time. Besides that, it is not like in the past when you are free to do whatever you like. Things have grown out of proportions to dangerous extent that I need to be circumspect and act carefully. I had been trading with risk since last couple of years or more. I am only able to live or make a living by dealing with this high risk factor. Life in cities is completely replete with risks. From the point you step out of your homes, no one is sure if one returns safely. To mitigate this risk, self-imprisonment for some period and acting with restraint can reduce it to some extent. But as I mentioned earlier, I am living this lifestyle since I got no other choice; there is no way out; never coming out of the loop or escaping the gri...

                      I am finding myself in a soup recently. At least one should be aware that he is going to land in such troubled waters. In the over-enthusiastic phase of landing in a good job, I over did things. Initially, for getting settled, I worked far above the range of sustaining over a prolonged period of time. I worked for temporary benefits of pleasing everyone and after a certain period became exhausted and stressed out. This is the reason for my present day sorry-state and I must concede it is a big mistake on my part. Mistakes are generally made everywhere and it is this experience that teaches a person and leads him to a state of refined living. The initial missteps needs to be rectified when another such situation arises.                        In another v...

                           Well, the regular routine is filled with lot of activity these days. Since the past few months, I have been working with religious tenacity. The consequence of these actions is I has entered another burn-out phase. In the midst of all the burning out and grinding, I miss the purpose sometimes and just go through the routines mechanically. All these acts should not be for mere salary. Though salary is important there must be a higher motive as well. Among the many motives including writing this blog, one of the motive which keeps me amused as well is teaching. Teaching or giving a session works for me and I work for teaching.                            While going through this line sometime back, I ...

                        It has been few months since I joined my present job. I am pausing every now and then, taking a moment to step back and contemplate what is going on. It still amazes me that all this good is happening to me in the backdrop of all the worst that had happened to me in the recent past. Not many months ago, my face portrayed hopelessness and my work gave me nothing monetarily. I tried so hard for a job that the universe must have conspired to line up all the necessary things and put in place, give a 360 degree turn to my fortunes, life and reinforced my belief in the ultimate justice. If you fight for what you want and keep on marching like a soldier, you will find your destination you deserve. I felt home at work and think my final destination is reached, right in the middle of the home nation and home town. I am in a good company and in the company...

                      There has been a lapse of posting due to reasons beyond my control. The past few weeks, there has been a change of guard. I am into a job which has me occupied for most of my time, keeping me in a state of low-lying slumber. But the continuity of the actions is the wrath of hell upon me. No matter how much I give, I will be drawn into giving much more. I had been looking for a proper break since long which has eluded me ever since. You will work with much less worries, tensions, stress and more energy after a meaningful pause. Instead I am left to worry each single day and work round the year. I am yet to know when I will be freed from this bondage. I am off track or not living a normal life since last few years. Rather than it being my choice, I am forced to lead such a life by circumstances and people around. Because of this crime perpetrated against me by an u...

                         The traversals in the circular rotations that I have been making for a while took me to the starting point again, this time giving me a re-birth. I am born again at the home location from the point where I left with same body and age. I still cannot believe that I returned home from the bloody mission and start all over again as if nothing has happened. It is a miracle that I had been lifted from the myriad problems. This didn’t happen from my own personal efforts since I went as far as the point of no-return. All the collective prayers must have been answered which resulted in unfurling of events leading up to my present state of reincarnation. It once again proves that when you work for the greater good, the same will be reciprocated for your own welfare. I worked for the people and it is the same people who erected me from a collapse. This can be a lesson for everyone who does not cross the ...