Thoughts In A Wandering Mind

                     There are many reasons people continue with their labor. Some operate without any purpose, some are more specific about the outcome beforehand while some others look for a outcome after the energies are spent pointlessly and time elapsed. I belong to the third category and search for happenings in the hindsight. I am too reckless and easy going not to fight for the purpose of my presence and never mind giving up and going off track. The purpose of coming here on multiple occasions is to mold myself into an employable person in this country. Any aged, grown up person with a similar profile who takes an iota of salt regularly in his food does it. Moreover it is the opportunity which only a lucky few would be getting and many back home vie for. Due to reasons unknown and weaknesses of mine which include fear, other restraining forces, I remained the primitive man not fit ...

                   There are many stages people go through but no one takes the path which I had been experiencing since last few years. The difficulty lies when spending a week becomes as tough as walking on a road with little covering in cold weather. Time knocks you out with its weight in those times. The difficulty is compounded when you are helpless with any other option than to keep moving. The position reached the point when a day became as long as a week, a week became 168 long hours to overcome and a month becomes a quarter and so on. A few years back it is normal that a day seemed like an hour but in the recent past I was stuck neck deep in a quagmire through my own actions that there is no chance to move freely rather than make cumbersome slow and cautious steps. It appears that even these steps lead to a point of no return. One has to at least halt the transgression to such a sorry s...

                   The troubled phase resumed in the foreign nation for the job search. I came and made myself part of this struggle willingly. This is not silly and any big problem might be on the way. I am already engulfed in a lot of problems. First of all, I entered the nation in a paranoid way and started to work, walk with a feeble health. Well, I never thought my outlook resembles that of a mentally ill person. I lamented those who thought so are rather mentally retarded. But I was wrong in my earlier perception since the situation gradually deteriorated and here I was - running helter-skelter impacting things which are beyond my control and range of the duty. Just like the outer space, there is no limit to this paranoia which keeps on pushing the boundaries with each passing day.                   Th...

                     My odyssey in the last job ended before anything serious really began. This once again left few daunting questions for an answer. Will I ever find any employment? Can I continue to work in the job for a considerable period? Will I make any income after the humongous expenditure in effort? These questions puzzled me while I remained unchanged and still look hopeful. Even the best of companies from which a bit of compassion can be expected did not tolerated and find a place for me. I need not tell about the remaining companies. This only deflects the reality further from my imagination of finding a source of income after giving a number of interviews. I mentioned about keeping up the spirits when you are lying low in the last post. Success will ultimately make you forget all the phases of struggle and rejections. Till then the fight continues against one and all. ...

                  Since the beginning of yet another episode in the home nation, there is hardly any view to see other than pitch black hopelessness which gave fuel to past post of complaints. Initially, the thought is to create some laughter of how a loser would whine and point against everything but it slipped out of control and turned out to be more serious. As always, the objects of complain did nothing compared to what I did to myself. There seemed to be a change is perspective and people are more willing to help me. But I had been completely sunk in the ocean and seeing pitch black since last year or so. No matter how hard you try to help me, I will find a reason to keep me unenthusiastic and unhappy. The bottom line is, to limit the damage inflicted by multitudes over a period of time by a zilch and not to keep me insane, I was given a job in an unassuming company. I am not complaining f...

                      Let me put it straight – no one must have gone through as much as I went through in the past few months and still march on after picking up all this dust. If you put on a performance of a life time, it will sustain you for life. But I had to perform in such a way day-in and day-out for my sustenance. Every day is a new blank page and a new such script waiting to be written. I wonder if life is supposed to beat you up so hard without any break and a dawn. I had been taken to a ride similar to riding on a 30% healthy horse with a speed similar to a 200% fit one. By targeting it on and on, this 30% will eventually become zero without reaching its own goals. This kind of heavy, impactful and bulldoze living cannot sustain for long which succumbs to falling in status or ranks. I think the art of living (which I don’t know a bit) or the prominent culture should ch...

                  I left the place I thought has the ecosystem to sustain me and make me successful. The place had made all the efforts but I became too big and heavy to see the efforts find a fruitful result. The world is a tough place to live in and unless the person has all the required hardware, it becomes more and more challenging to pass through the hurdles of all the phases of life. Thanks to the software generation and the nations which religiously worked to provide the breeding ground for this new world, there is little avenue of hope and a freeway for all those with the softer, finer qualities. And when the person becomes too soft for this new world so much so that things are not happening here also, he need to take a rocket instead of aeroplane to another planet for onward journey and exploration.               ...