Review of a Sorry and Twisted Tale and Few Insightful Rants

                     Let me put it straight – no one must have gone through as much as I went through in the past few months and still march on after picking up all this dust. If you put on a performance of a life time, it will sustain you for life. But I had to perform in such a way day-in and day-out for my sustenance. Every day is a new blank page and a new such script waiting to be written. I wonder if life is supposed to beat you up so hard without any break and a dawn. I had been taken to a ride similar to riding on a 30% healthy horse with a speed similar to a 200% fit one. By targeting it on and on, this 30% will eventually become zero without reaching its own goals. This kind of heavy, impactful and bulldoze living cannot sustain for long which succumbs to falling in status or ranks. I think the art of living (which I don’t know a bit) or the prominent culture should channelize a person to grow from ground – zero and not facilitate a fall from a certain height.

                   I had to point a few culprits for my present situation. The first is my home nation which facilitated my passage to America and hoped for a return which are both not appropriate. Lesson learnt: Don’t built on top without proper base and hope to succeed. The second is the foreign home nation America which hadn’t offered me a job and sent me-off a couple of times. The partnership pulled off brilliantly in tune with one another for all wrong reasons and framed me perfectly to the higher needs without ever being of any use to my own self. Lesson learnt: You will be leveraged and influenced by the external forces if you don’t pull yourself. It can be understandable when a third world nation did not see through my needs but surprising when the most sophisticated place paid a blind eye and a deaf ear when a poor kid is wandering along the streets in a wretched state. There cannot be a bigger let down than an elephant which can’t lift an ant and greater expectation than an ant which was to lift an elephant. I think a person in strength should tend to the weak and not further strengthen himself at the expense of the poor or weak person. This happened in the country which meddles everywhere under the name of human rights or law violation but gave a freehand to my suffering and injustice. It is like the country with all the apparently sensible people had put sense aside and saw the interesting story unfolding in a majestic way. Have you ever seen a guy seemingly with everything but with nothing in fact going through these heart-slicing and ego-hurting routines and travails. Is there any court and any law in these nations which can justify these ordeals or abuse of an innocent voice-less person. You will see that I will continue to fight for my rights and justice till I had them in a peaceful way.

                   To dig a bit, upon my immediate arrival for the first time a woman said I cannot survive here if I don't have a car. I played down the alert message and wasted an year. The premise is I never thought there would be a country which can’t accommodate poor people of first generation. Is it like ‘No country for poor people’. I had tried again and went through with all the qualifications but was denied due to unknown reasons. I came to know I had to return after a month but wasted 6 months trying. The home country played her part well in the partnership in seeing my decline and degradation. First, you need to win in the home to win elsewhere. Unless you are part of the society and felt belonged, you cannot enact the same on a larger stage. I was betrayed by my own people who never approved me and made me foreign. What can the foreigners do with a foreign person other than to feel sorry for the pre-scripted failure.

                     The importance of decision making is paramount in key life-altering phases . No matter how hard you try, if the person is absent when the moment arrives, all will be going down the drain. It appeared I took-off at this particular moment and came back empty handed for a sleep. Though it is not as simple as I said since I had to give up a month of my remaining life for every day spent at that risky juncture. The dare-devil, brave-man in me had gone too far and was literally unstoppable before I stopped myself which weighed in the pros of coming back.

                    The universal person that I am face a lot of uneasy situations in that every region wants me to be with them. Though I cannot contain myself to a region all time, I can accommodate all the regions for some time for greater efficiency and better connectivity. I believe humanity pervades the country, race, region and all differentiations. The failure trip to the foreign nation has visits to many cities for reasons beyond my control and it may follow the same till further clarity is arrived. The irony is though I belong to no city, I keep travelling to all these metros with a false hope of settling down somewhere. The place where I truly belong is a reclusive and calm village with 15^th century lifestyle and a computer.  Due to recent developments, even villages are isolating such people. Though I did not plan any of the previous trips more than a week in advance, a better planning is required going further to reduce sudden shocks and other perceptions of bad taste. With proper planning, a tour to cover all regions can be initiated which also provides me a address for few days.

                   There is a pole-difference between words spoken, written and action. All the while, I had been speaking through this medium and never really acted upon them. A friend concluded way back – A speaker won’t act or else he will not be a speaker. I did not get the veracity of this pearl and wasted many blog posts in hope of turning things around which never turned and neither I acted. The same can be extrapolated to the present day sports in the country which got very few results for the billion critics it has who like to watch and talk no-end once in every four years. For all the embarrassment I had seen in the foreign nation which the people did for themselves by not coming to my aid, the same feeling followed suit in the home nation which won 2 medals and celebrated like all the gold winners belong to the land. Though it is not a mean achievement and nothing meant to discourage given the circumstances, the second most populous country should figure somewhere relatively in the medal tally and not second from last.