No Run Files - This Way Please and Truth within Truth: Why a Pause Matters for Self for Ruling out Disadvantages, Negativity and Inauspiciousness

I have been on mission mode for more than 16 years, been there every day, marching like a soldier. Sometimes, the work will be more and sometimes little less. But the machine rolling on and giving outcomes based on regularity, intensity hasn’t changed much. Initially, his run will be good, lot of positives for all the intensity, churning and hard work. But, what happens when his run is 16 year old and so much is drawn out of a person and he is made to march on and on and on. His positive outcomes, advantages and auspiciousness will timeout and expire. Nothing good will stay on forever. Bad, if the same continues, the presence will turn into disadvantages, negatives and inauspiciousness. Which is why routing matters, re-routing matters – it has a definite place when the particular person is the center of everything for very long time. Isn’t it the world needs to get over me, get beyond me, forget me. Isn’t it the trend needs to change, the trend setter need to change and the hashtag movements need to find new source. Isn’t it new enablers need to come, new drivers need to take over and new leaders need to erase the accumulated past. This is not me trying to remain at the center of everything everyday but taking a meaningful pause to hopefully bring back the good days after a meaningful interval. How does that work ? I don’t know. What I will do in the interval? I don’t know. But I do know the juggernaut cannot roll on unchecked and uninterrupted.

I will give you some memory. After working at peaks of intensity in India 4.5 years back, can I sustain the same work ethic in the same location and same country for the next four years. It can never happen. This robotic run can never happen for so long in one country. It worked because I moved to another country and continued the same there. Why it will never work in one location – because the disadvantages, negativity and inauspiciousness will slowly take shape and build out of proportions in the work location, forcing me into irrelevance anyway. It is truth and I agree that my run cast a negative spell on the land. There will be many rip offs and advantages because of me nevertheless in short to medium term but the same wild run in long run is not good and advised. Which is why I moved out of Hyderabad or India after 5 years and I moved out of Chicago or US after 4 years. In the present day, I cannot run for another 4-5 years and move to another nation. I cannot be a dual or multi nation citizen to work for multiple countries for very, very long. Immense work in one great tenure, move to another country and repeat. I am afraid, this cannot happen multiple times. If at all, I need to pace myself, slow down, take a pause and live in one country by making positive impressions.

Another reason why I ran so much is to spread equality. This is my innate belief that you need to work for all the constituents in the world, not for your own self and your own people. I lived like that, I worked like that and I ran like that to make sure everyone get their window of opportunity and uprising. This is the most important part for anyone at the helm – to work for everyone and spreading uniformity and equality. I took all the bad repercussions due to this lifestyle and still marched on for very long time. For example in the last onsite stint, after 1 year, I was exhausted and drained completely, going through motions which doesn’t help me selfishly in anyway. But I persisted and continued the march when everyone saw the greenery instead of the condition of the person. Honestly, will any lesser person continues the march like that, leaving everything personal behind and living for the world. It is the run plainly for everyone else when it hurt me daily, begging for retirement. The world was tensed, anxious and envious about what I will do but could never figure out my status and I myself never wanted to do anything. The bottom line is I continued for very long when it is not healthy and wise to do so. Isn’t it wise to call it out now and step aside, instead of mechanically living through the motions for wrong reasons.

The reasons of enablement, expression and freedom matter much more when a wild run is on. These cannot be overlooked for long or kept in complete loss by creating a environment without these qualities. This is all felt when I worked my best. In a way I worked my best during pandemic, unfortunate to say, when the world is locked in lockdown. This is what my unchecked inner manifestation does – to take away the freedom from others and disable them. The pause is required again as all these disadvantages due to me cannot outnumber the advantages. There can be pros, lot many, but we are in a situation where these won't surface or last long rather than cons making lasting impression. Simply, look at the person working. I had behaviour issues for two years, had numerous other issues and never really felt I am working positively. These add up to render me a garbage man and the outcomes are similar. Isn't it ?

After sixteen years of relentless effort, I may choose a pause because a life of service must also leave room for the person living it. I can honour what I have contributed while acknowledging what this pace has cost me. I do not need to carry responsibility for the world’s fortunes or interpret every difficulty as a consequence of my presence. My responsibility now is to recognise my limits, restore my health and make space for relationships, freedom and ordinary happiness. Others can contribute, lead and bring fresh possibilities while I step back. I may not yet know how this interval will unfold, but uncertainty need not prevent a necessary change. Rest deserves a place in my life without having to promise another extraordinary achievement. Whatever comes next, I want it to grow from choice, balance and renewed purpose, with enough room for my own life to flourish alongside my work.