Problems To Fix in Typical Journey From Birth to Old Age in U.S.

 “We dwell on this earth as branches of a tree, yet a support system in the form of a family remains the root of the tree.” This is the importance of the roots of strength to our individual vulnerable selves who withers like leaves and branches. Any nation which wants to be great, strong and taken seriously needs to have a strong family system prevalent in the society. The emphasis needs to be laid on the average person leading a good life with a strong support network and later build something out of it. If we look at the society in U.S., the emphasis is on building great output out of unconventional, eccentric practices of living. This tells we are once again looking at the means of the nation in achieving the staggering output. The emphasis is very much on ‘what’ we build rather than on ‘how’ we build. As I read somewhere, ‘You know how to build a business, if you know how to raise a family’. 

While we don’t need worry about a marginal few who are in good standing, the evil lies when we speak in general terms and the general societal behaviors at large. To speak about the problem, let us consider a life example of an individual named Sam. Sam was born to his father, who is in his second relationship to a mother who is also estranged to his first husband. His father leaves few years after the relationship and Sam is raised in a single parent household till his adolescence. Sam went to a public school and was decent in the studies. Naturally, he was more inclined towards friends in school and was in good terms with a few girls as well. Due to the social norms of the society which considers you outcast if you don’t mingle with opposite sex, Sam went ahead with the ‘girlfriend’ or dating culture by the end of high school. He has nice time with one or two girls, worked in a job to earn little money and joined a college to earn a degree. He has good education, got life skills and made few more female friends. By the time he earned degree, he experienced everything and was battle ready to face challenges of life. He enters work force, gets a good job and reflects on his parents, upbringing, childhood and feels it is perfectly correct about everything in his environment.

 

As we know, ‘the child is the father of the man’ and the man begins to recreate everything he went through as a child. Whatever the society gave as a surrounding environment throughout, Sam, as an adult, falls back to decide at every turn of life. He enters into a relationship with a friend and lives in cohabitation. The couple bears a child after few years without marriage. They decide to call-off the relationship due to differences and other societal priorities. He gets along very well in making money with hard work and starts his own venture. After being alone for some time and to meet his personal needs in thirties due to demanding work, he gets to meet another woman and enters into alliance. Being at a mature age, they decide to get married and raise a family. Once again, the couple gives birth to kids and breeds them earnestly. After being a father for ten years, Sam faces new challenges mounting and differences building slowly with his partner. He needs to work from a new location and moves alone. He delivers good output through his own venture, becomes a wonderful colleague to all his staff and presents as a demi-god in satiating their professional needs. He achieves everything in professional life and occasionally meets kids from multiple partners while supporting monetarily throughout. In his retirement, he once again leads a lone life in a community and after reaching 70, retires to a nursing center.

 

This is the life of a typical Sam in U.S. and let me tell you that everything is wrong about this story. From the birth to childhood to teenage to long adulthood to retirement, the waywardness is apparent and problems are aplenty. When he is a typical person, most others fall in this bracket which is a damning indictment of the deep-rooted problem in the society. If good, decent families don’t stay rooted in the country, it is a failure of the country for disrupting the roots of the individuals. From the story, we can find five most prominent problems which needs to be corrected that are at the core of the American society. They are:

 

1. Birth

2. Relationships

3. Marriage

4. Parenthood

5. Old age

5. 
   

Birth: We cannot control our own birth but definitely dictate the birth of our off springs. It is very important to get our children in the most accurate settings. This is floated recklessly by most in the country. The number of children born to unmarried parents in the United States has been over the roof in recent years. According to data from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), the percentage of births to unmarried women in the United States has been on the rise since the 1960s. In 2019, the percentage of births to unmarried women in the United States was approximately 40%. This means that 40% of all births in the country that year were to women who were not married at the time of the birth. Every one in two births is deemed illegal according to good conscience, behavior and civil rules of individual, society. Without entering into holy pact of living together for life, you should not produce off-springs.

 

Relationships: This is an area where there are questionable practices by U.S. which breeds many erroneous relationships. In the past, traditional gender roles and societal expectations played a large role in shaping relationships between men and women. Today, however, there is more diversity and flexibility in relationships, as people are able to choose the type of relationship that best suits their needs and desires. This starts from as young as adolescence to entire adulthood as a culture of dating. As can be seen from data, one in two couple enter into a relationship outside of marriage and gives birth to children. Even society encourages the same without calling out the menace. This is highly uncalled for, since abstinence till marriage and commitment to partner post marriage is the holy, auspicious and honest behavior expected from every individual.

Marriage: Everyone should be bound by the doctrine of marriage and live forever respecting the divine alliance with a partner. It is very common to break the code of marriage or get divorced for simple reasons. It has to be ingrained in the people that the pact of marriage is holy and once entered into it, highest importance should be accorded to it. Even Christianity promotes abstinence from relationships till marriage and marriage should be the biggest enabler for responsible co-existence. Breaking a marriage should be last option. However, according to data from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), the percentage of people who have been married more than once in the United States is relatively high. In 2019, the percentage of adults who had been married more than once was approximately 20%. In the same year, the number of divorces across the country is 8 lakhs which is a staggering number. We should see to it that these numbers fall down; a majority of population is married once and remain faithful to their partners for life.

Parenthood: In 2020, approximately 27% of children in the United States lived with only one parent. This figure represents a significant increase from 1960, when just 9% of children lived in single-parent households. Who cannot be with their kids should refrain from giving birth. Single parent households disturb the upbringing of kids. In India, it is just 2% of children who live with single parents. It's worth noting that the percentage of children living in single-parent households varies by race and ethnicity. For example, African American and Hispanic children are more likely to live in single-parent households than white children. Factors such as divorce, separation, and non-marital childbearing have also contributed to the increase in single-parent households. In plain words, you need to provide the parenthood to your children for life and not leave them for a better future and sound family system.

Old age: Once your parents reach old age, they need to be in your own households to add an important dimension to nuclear family setup. They can spend time with grandchildren and have a calm, soothing effect upon everyone. But it is not the case in the entire U.S. Only 7 percent of people aged 60 and older live in an extended family household in North America. A large number of elder population also live in nursing or old-age homes. In 2020, approximately 28% of people aged 65 and older in the United States lived alone. The lives of older people should not be relegated to isolation but be a part of family and extended family. The truth cannot be told better than today in knowing the fact how the pandemic ravaged the nursing homes with scores of vulnerable people. These could have been certainly treated well in a different household with better support system. All in all, it has been a sorry state to affairs as far as the older people are concerned in the country. This old age home culture is also catching up in India, but we should understand their role in a family setup and make them part of it while giving the required care.

As a man travels from birth to old age, the U.S. is making them travel through these many deviations which is horrible to say the least. The family system among the minorities – African American and Hispanic is very broken which needs remedy, care and transformation. These deviations should be less than 5% and very rare in the society. These cannot be main story by being more than 25% in all five parameters while dictating the pulse of nation. There has to be a set of framework and rules as to how an individual can travel from birth to old age. It cannot be absolute freedom but rules and norms which should dictate the journey.

 

The importance of each and every individual who become part of a unit of family cannot be overstated. It is these well-made units which should provide for the nations and not eccentric, strange groups. The U.S. needs to rechristen itself into a society with good individual, family values and then try to dictate the world. Else, the authority has no meaning, the output has no meaning, the results have no meaning and the country itself will not be taken seriously. India is far better and richer is all these aspects with hardly 2-3% deviation. U.S. needs an injection of value-addition into its society which it needs to get from countries like India. There is a lot of room for meaningful exchange between these countries to cure the social fabric of the nation.